25 Years in the making

When I started to see the four and five star reviews roll in for Blood Between Us, it made me emotional. Not just because it was fantastic to see something that I loved, being loved by people who don't know me, but because this book and I are old friends and it's wonderful to see and old friend doing well.

I first wrote this story over 25 years ago - yes that's correct. Twenty five years. Before my children were born. I can't remember ever not wanting to be a writer and throughout my life I've tried and tried to make it - unsuccessfully. Blood Between Us started out as a TV script called Thicker Than Water. I was inspired by a small news story on the BBC News website about a mother who'd taken her son to the police station when she realised he had been responsible for a burglary. I was struck by the courage and strength she must have had and wondered whether she had considered helping him cover up his crime first rather than persuading him to confess to it. I mulled it over and felt that with the parent/child bond it would be easier to make that choice, but the sibling relationship is such an interesting one and varies wildly in families. So that's where I started with this story. If it was your brother - what would you do?

I wrote it and was proud of it. I thought, and still think, the moral dilemma at the heart of the story is a good one. I submitted it to the BBC Writers' Room and kicked off a pattern of writing and rejection that would chug away in the background of my life for the next 25 years. I received a nice letter from the BBC - they liked it but not quite enough. They'd like to see my next effort (I sent that to them and didn't receive a response). I then wrote it as a book, a standalone thriller and spent many hours poring over the Writers' and Artists' Yearbook to harvest a string of rejections, all along a similar theme - it was good, just not quite good enough.

I paid for an editor, experienced in crime drama, to help me with the story and really enjoyed that collaboration which made the story much slicker and interesting. Full of renewed hope, I began another round of agent submissions and received the same responses: good, just not quite good enough.

I took it to Winchester Writers' Festival where you can have a one to one meeting with agents. I picked my two, sent the first couple of chapters and the synopsis and when I met them, they could not have been more fired up about my work. "This is the piece I've been most excited about all Festival," one of them said. Seeing the despondent faces of other writers coming out of their agent meetings, I was inspired and encouraged. Each agent gave me notes and asked for a rewrite which I duly did and submitted, not to the slush pile this time, to the actual agent themselves. One wrote back declining as it was good but just not quite good enough. The other didn't even reply.

I submitted Thicker Than Water to writing competitions - find the next bestseller, win the competition and get an agent, those kind of things. Not even a shortlist placement.

I shelved it many times. Listen to what everyone is telling you, I would say to myself. It's just not good enough. So I would listen to everyone and put it to one side and start something else. But the story wouldn't go away. I felt so sure of it. If you discovered your brother was responsible for a hit and run which left a young mum for dead, what would you do? I couldn't imagine anyone not taking a moment to ponder this, even if the final decision was a simple one to make one way or another.

But I did give up on traditional publishing. I remember the day I pressed send on a submission email and vowed that would be the last one I would ever do. But then within a matter of days indie publishing, like a safety net spread out beneath me, offered me the perfect route for my story. I realised it would be a great kick off to a crime drama series. I'd lived with my female lead for so long, I loved the thought of being with her for a bit longer, developing her story and seeing where she went. Crime drama was so popular and as a journalist for a local newspaper I knew there would be many opportunities for her to use her knowledge of the area and its people to crack the crimes the police can't solve.

I'd grown since that first draft, so I updated it, made her older with grown up children and aging parents, an interesting life dynamic which could provide additional story threads as readers got to know her and her life. I beefed up the characters in the newsroom and in her family. And changed her name to Hepzibah.

I also changed the title to Blood Between Us and was thrilled to see the front cover come to life in the hands of a professional cover designer. Now I had a proper book and I could see whether it was just me who thought this was a good story. It was with a heavy heart that I sent it out for review and offered it on promotion to generate those important ratings. It felt like this really was the last throw of the dice.

"A gripping read. Not an easy book to put down."

"The writing creates an atmosphere that puts you in the room."

"This book is a wonderful story, beautifully written."

"From the very first page the author's writing had me hooked."

"Overall a brilliant novel that I highly recommend to other readers."

These are genuine words from people who don't know me and it fills my heart with pride to read them. After so many years of being told I was good, just not quite good enough, I feel like Hep and I have earned our place here and she finally has her time to shine.